#consecrated singlehood

[forward-in-joy]

As our foundress St. Angela Merici said, "in these perilous and pestilential times, you will find no other recourse than to take refuge at the feet of Jesus Christ" (Counsels).

Hello Sister. Im surprised to find a nun in social media. How you recommend to keep in feith in these days full of violence, unjustice and hate? Thank you.

Hi Mary,

I will read the Bible more, especially the New Testament, and develop a strong and close relationship with Jesus. He is the only one who can give the peace that the world cannot give. By bringing all of our worries, fears and unrest to God in prayer we learn to trust and have courage to face a troubled world. Jesus said, "Believe in God, believe also in me. I have overcome the world!"

[paula-of-christ]

Hello, to start off, I'm asking a handful of prominent Catholic blogs this question in hopes of getting a good average of answers.

This question isn't meant to cause drama at all but rather to get clarification due to my predicament.

I know that gender roles are very important in religious, however where would that leave someone who was born as I was, I was born intersex and I've been pondering this question an awful lot lately. Would it be based on how I was raised? What characteristic are more pronounced? Or do my unfortunate circumstances leave me nowhere?

I plan to ask a local priest about this as well, but the stigma of my condition is holding me back.

Sorry for the long-winded ask, and thank you for taking your time to read this. God bless.

Yea I saw some people answer this but let's answer this now on the first of December like 2 weeks after I receive it. (And then put it in the queue like a crazy person because my queue is running low.)

So from my understanding of intersex there is always going to be one sex that is naturally more presenting. Because of the binary of sex that humans (and many if not most other creatures) have means that there is never a truly middle ground of not having any sex whatsoever. I am glad that you are going to ask a priest because he will be able to reach out to higher authorities that know more. I can only assume what the answer will be, which is below.

Generally, from what I know, doctors tend to pick which sex will be more presenting at birth. They get it wrong sometimes but there aren't very many people that are born truly intersex so there isn't a whole lot of precedence for which way to go. I believe that it truly depends on what vocation you are called to. Marriage may be impossible because there is no chance for you to be open to conception the way someone who is infertile is still open to conception. It would be akin to someone who has been completely castrated, they cannot marry.

If religious life is the avenue of your calling it would depend greatly on the community you'd like to join, the way you present, they sexual orientation of yourself, as well as other normal issues that arise with religious life. Someone born a woman but presents as a masculine person and is attracted to females, even if they were female and believed themselves to be a female, would not be able to be accepted into religious life, because of the type of strain something like that would put on the individual as well as the community.

Consecrated life in the form of hermits or consecrated virginity or secular institutes - all are or can be forms of singlehood as a true vocation - are also options that leave no real blocks if someone is intersex. Generally consecrated virginity is only for women but in the history of the Church, men have been as well. Secular institutes tend to be "co-ed", though some of them are for married couples. Hermits are a radical option in the hierarchy of single consecrated life, but is completely livable.

And then the option you have is always to remain chaste and single, serving your parish as any other lay person ought to do.

[milatherese]

General Statements on Vocation

I've been thinking a lot and this has helped me.

There are three layers to one's vocation. Here they are from broad to specific:

Universal Vocation: We are all called to be holy

Secondary Vocation: How we can be holy (priesthood, religious life, consecrated singlehood, married life)

Particular Vocation: How we can be holy in immediate circumstances

The first is related to the second and third and cannot be isolated from them. The second and third can interact with each other, but are not one and the same. The third can pertain to the second, but does not need to.

I know, that sounds confusing. From the above, I can assume that:

knowing the secondary vocation does not mean your particular vocation must directly pertain to the secondary vocation

sometimes knowing the secondary vocation is simply a preview of the future and not a presently actionable item

Okay, now the million-dollar question: where am I right now?

I am pursuing my universal vocation. My secondary vocation is to be determined. My particular vocation is to remain where I am right now, but to dive deeper into prayer.

Discernment is beautiful, but it sucks.

[that-devout-catholic-woman]

I just realized I forgot to respond to your second question.

I knew I was called to married life because for me the three things I was discerning between were religious life (God shot that down), consecrated singlehood, and married life. So really it was between the single life and married life. It took me a long time to get used to the idea that it just may be me and God at the end of the day. I’d be fine with it, there are others in the consecrated life who are very happy and volunteer a lot and basically dedicate themselves to God entirely. I set a time limit for myself and said if I don’t find my husband by the time I’m X years old, I will just be single. And it wasn’t until I was totally okay with just building up my relationship with God and my self-confidence through that relationship that God opened up a door for married life for me. A friend recommended I try CatholicMatch for quite some time and I finally caved. It’s not the best website and it has many flaws, but I found the one whom my soul loves so it works sometimes.

Tbh God also told me when I’d meet my future husband so that helped a lot but because I’m such a doubter and struggle to trust God sometimes I kept discerning other things. But lo and behold it happened exactly when He said it would. Life is easier when you just let God do His thing so just listen when He tells you stuff.

What made u discern religious life? Also how’d u know God was calling to married life instead. I’m so lost on all of this it gives me so much anxiety

Tbh I was just so tired of the way men I was dating or who were “pursuing” me or who I liked were treating me despite my ever higher standards. And I didn’t like who my relationships were making me into, I felt that they were pulling me away from God instead of bringing me closer to Him like they’re supposed to. I thought to myself, “God would never treat me like this, God is the only one who could ever truly love me through and through.” And so I discerned after my last ex and I broke up.

God made it very clear through my prayer with Him and my conversations with others that it was not what He wanted for me, though, and I think that’s the most important lesson I learned: God will make it clear what He wants you to do. It may not be the answer you were secretly hoping for, which is what makes it harder to hear the answer sometimes, when our own will for our lives blurs out God’s will for our lives. That’s a pride thing and pride makes it so you aren’t willing to listen to Him. But God is always talking to us if we are willing to listen and give Him the floor. God is always willing to help us and guide us like any good father, and if you trust Him enough to actually work in your life A) not only is it easier to go through life that way, but B) you can see so much more clearly the way God is working in your life and how his plan is much better than your own.

Bottom line: give it to God and he’ll open up doors for you you never even thought to walk through.

[forward-in-joy]

Very grateful for recent time for contemplation in nature 💚

[mongrelmutt]

Yes! The people who write those articles seem to have no idea that secular institutes, societies of apostolic life, personal consecration, etc. are definitely "legit" single vocations in the church. Check out what all the 20th century Popes have said about it! (A good start is "Consecration and Secularity," which is a letter to the bishops from the Congregation For the Institutes of Consecrated Life and Society of Apostolic Life). Not that singlehood as a vocation is some new 'modern' invention -- single women have been serving Christ in the secular institute I belong to since 1535, and on their own all the way back to the early virgin martyrs 😁

A big part of the lack of awareness about single vocations is that most of them are, by their nature, out of the spotlight. Our mission is to be "leaven" hidden in the world to quietly change it from within (to paraphrase JPII), so we don't wear habits or anything that would make us stand out from the rest of the laity.

is the single life a valid vocation? i have no desire to get married or join a religious order, but i know people (like my mother, for example) who say that staying single is just “taking the easy way out”

They read some gross disgusting blog opinion about how the single life is ‘bad’ and ‘lazy’. It’s NOT. It’s one of those blog posts that’s been going around religious circles that everyone keeps expanding on like some new dogmatic revelation and it’s just...annoying. I see them come and go a lot. The people who spread this need to work on their own relationships with God tbh.

If God calls, he calls, and very few will respect that. Carry on in your heart knowing comfortably that you are simply doing as you are called, and that’s just gonna make others angry.

Also how is the single life in anyway easy tbh?????

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[paula-of-christ]

While this is great also keep in context of Catholics that being single is not a vocation, but *consecrated* singlehood is. For women this means holy orders or consecrated virgin. For men this means holy orders (monk or brother or perpetual deacon) or a priest.

hello to my fellow christian aros and/or aces! friendly reminder that the apostle paul never married, and says it is fine to not marry!

1 corinthians 7:9 (niv), paul says “now to the unmarried and the widows i say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as. i have.”, and later in verses 32-35, he says those who are unmarried can focus more time to pleasing and worshipping God.

God does not care if you are married or unmarried, and he loves the unmarried!

[forward-in-joy]

[forward-in-joy]

"You are a leaven that can produce good bread for many, the Bread for which there is so much hunger: listening to people’s needs, aspirations, disappointments, hopes. Like those who have preceded you in your vocation, you can restore hope to young people, help the elderly, open roads to the future, spread love in every place and in every situation." -- Pope Francis, May 10, 2014 to Secular Institute Italian Conference Meeting